Following hot on the heels of Nadia’s new stories, I’ve finally got round to editing my final piece, following Ian’s comments at the end of the course. I’ve added a few bits and tweaked a few pieces and I think it’s much better now, even though most of the changes are individually quite minor.
The story link can be found to the right under Tarn’s short stories, so check it out and let me know what you think! For those of you that have previously read The Detective, I should note that it starts out quite similar, but follows a markedly different path.
Enjoy. 😀
0 Comments
Ben · October 3, 2007 at 5:47 pm
That was sweet. Loved the idea and loved how you showed a fake relationship between a copper and a robot. I’ve also noticed you do the same as Nadia, you use very high details to explain a scene and explain most of the actions which I really like in books.
I’d say this was a good improvement and keep it up. The ending paragraph could have explained how the detective exited the warehouse, was he running? walking while acting cool? But nevertheless this was great and can’t wait for the other storys that pop in here from you and Nadia. 😉
Also half of these storys could actually become short films. 🙂
Ben
Tarn · October 6, 2007 at 8:39 am
Thanks Ben!
I am actually really tempted to turn some of these into short films. They’re mostly quite confined, so wouldn’t be overly difficult.
Detective and the Robot would be a good candidate to shoot against a greenscreen, I think…